The Twisted Tulip
Since the day we held Sofia in our arms, we have kept fresh flowers in our home. We keep them next to a framed photo of our hands, gifted to us from my mom, and a beautiful Guardian Willow Tree figurine gifted to us from my Aunt Kathy & Uncle Kevin. The first set of flowers I bought were some beautiful pink tulips.
When I plopped the tulips in a vase I noticed one little tulip that just did not want to stay up like the rest. When I pulled it out to readjust it, here is what I found.
A twisted stem, too twisted to allow this tulip to stand like the rest, but not so twisted to keep it from being a beautiful part of the bouquet. I instantly smiled, laughed out-loud, and then burst into tears, happy tears. It was as if Sofia was saying, "Hi Mama! I am right here and I'm okay!"
Mommy & Daddy's Date Night
After the business of Christmas and New Year's settled, Juan and I were ready for some us time. I mean, aside from Juan going back to work, we had not been away from each other since the day we held Sofia, but we had been blessed with the company of many friends and family members, and the time we did spend together was usually talking, sharing where we were in the grieving process, and holding each other together (all very important parts of our healing). After a couple of weeks we decided that we were ready for a date night. Our plan was that I would pick Juan up from work, we would get dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants and then catch a movie. Little did we know, our little one had a different plan for us.
Right before I picked Juan up, the mortuary called him. It turns out, Sofia was a bit bigger than they thought she'd be, and her remains would not fit in the tiny urn we had originally selected. They needed us to come in and choose a different urn as soon as possible. When Juan told me the news we both smiled at each other. There was no question about it, we were canceling our plans and taking care of our sweet girl. This is what it means to be parents, sometimes you must drop plans with no hesitation, because let's face it, your life is no longer yours. It didn't bother us one bit. It was a perfect reminder that although she may not be here for us to hold, we are her parents, and she can still control our lives! Thank you sweet girl, for reminding us of what it means to be parents. Thank you for letting us feel the joys, sacrifices, and sorrows of parenthood.
Jewelry Fiasco
I have been gifted with various beautiful pieces of jewelry to wear in remembrance of Sofia. Each day I get to choose a piece or two to wear as a reminder that she is always with me. One very special piece of jewelry is a bracelet from my mom seen here. One day, before getting our daily workout in, the bracelet fell out of my gym bag and onto Juan's office floor. He spotted it and made some jokingly smart comment about me not being careful with such an important piece of jewelry. As I laughed and rolled my eyes at him I look on the floor under his office desk only to find... his wedding ring! I returned the jokingly smart comment and we both laughed so hard! It was like little Miss Sofia was not going to let her daddy get away with teasing her mama like that. We got a great laugh and were once again reminded that this little one will always find her way into our day-to-day lives.
The Spilled Briefcase
A part of working for a non profit means purchasing things out of pocket then submitting receipts for reimbursement. Juan decided to collect receipts so that he could submit them all together. Well, he can be so organized at times that it actually makes him unorganized, often forgetting where he placed all of his items... like $193 worth of receipts. One morning, while rushing to work, because we were already a few minutes behind schedule, Juan picks up his briefcase (in his head it's ever so graceful), only to watch its contents spill all over the floor, revealing the missing receipts. Juan had already resigned to "donating" (eating) the money and there they were all along. With a sigh of relief he put them in a new safe spot, and thanked Sofia for knocking the briefcase out of his hands and saving us that money!
Ever So Sweet, Sweet Peas
Sofia blew us away with this next one, told beautifully in my sister's Facebook post on Sofia's due date.
On Sofia's due date, there was a single pink sweet pea in full bloom in my mom's garden, and another single pink sweet pea in full bloom in her neighbor's garden. Both were the first flowers of the season to bloom. What a beautiful message! God is good.
We are so amazed by the way God works to keep our little one in our lives. We are grateful for the way some of life's ordinary things now have such extraordinary meanings. We are humbled by the way our little angel will bless our lives forever.
Sofia Fe Llamas, you never cease to amaze us. You truly are a flame of wisdom and faith, like your name says. God is so good. We are so proud of you and so grateful to be your parents. Thank you for always finding ways to make us smile.
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